Comment+2

the content itself is good-a lot of stuff out of such a small chapter seriously good job, your hitting the list we were told to focus on, but it has no flow when simply read. It might be that when you read it outloud you add or connect these devices to your thesis, but for those who cannot hear your discussion have it they way you would say it on the wikispace. rather than it seeming like your simply answering a given question instead of expanding on a thesis